What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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