Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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