Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

Knock Knock. Doors open

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

Why was the man sad? His wife left

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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