I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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