- Anti Joke

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

all these jokes are horrible now