Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops