Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops