2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops