Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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A man walked into a bar owch

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops