Women can vote? WTF

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Women's rights

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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