Your mom went to college

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops