Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make your house smell bad? fart

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops