There once was a man from Nantucket.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Whats two plus two Four!

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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Women's rights

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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