A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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