It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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