Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops