Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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Whats funny and has 2 wheels The holocaust, I lied about the wheels, and the funny

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops