What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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