One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops