Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...