Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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