Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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http://www.google.com/webhp?doodle=6201726X-hA7spmZ-pmZnpnn__-ynJTMzfAAADUAAAcaZmb9sN8GZmGIzMz9UzM3OmZm2n7__6430pmZuSZmZm___y1yGQYhiElhkGQZBkGYZBiGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGITCGQZBkE4hkGQZRkGIUSGIYhkEEhkGUXiGIXkGIXkGIXkGQXiGQXkGQXiGIZhiGIRiGEZhmE5hhGUViGQYRklohkFohkFpBiFpBkFpBkGQYhmEEhmGQYhJIYhlFkhkGQZFg&hl=en&nord=1 For alien signals

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops