Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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