Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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