Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Rush Limbaugh

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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You wanna see something really scary?

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who else is on here?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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