whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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The global news

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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sucks Syntax...

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops