What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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