Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Double-whammy

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops