- Anti Joke

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

I used to know what alzheimers was

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

You had better thumbs up this post.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Knock Knock there's a doorbell

Committing Suicide #YOLO

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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