What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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