Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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1+2 = 6

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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