Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops