the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I had friends on the Death Star.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

thumb_up thumb_down +9

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is so old she died

thumb_up thumb_down +9

no

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops