Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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