Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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