A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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