- Anti Joke

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

knock knock? come in

A white man is running away from a black man. Because they are Playing tag. A gaming involving to touch the other person

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

Leave. Now.

What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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