what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops