what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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well now

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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