an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops