Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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