a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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Who invented apple? God

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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