Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is worse than joel an infested asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call your mama at the gas station

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man did not like this site

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops