WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...