A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops