Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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