What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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Dude man, I'm high...

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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