Dislike if you are a prostitute

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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