Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Women's rights.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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