At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops