Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Equal rights!

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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