Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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