What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do cows in Africa say? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

800 people died last year. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops