How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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